There’s a common belief that being content is similar to being complacent. Because of this, people have started to view contentment negatively, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this notion. To me, contentment is simply gratitude for what already exists in our lives.
I used to feel guilty when I looked at my Instagram or LinkedIn feed and saw how much more everyone else seemed to be doing. People would share about how late they were working, how much money they were making, about job promotions, or about their latest major purchases. Constantly seeing this made me feel like I needed to do the same or at least achieve something similar.
Because of this guilt, I started to look into and work on a ton of side hustles — affiliate marketing, dropshipping, driving Uber, creating social media content, teaching classes, and part-time jobs. I was hoping one of them would stick and allow me to afford the lifestyle I thought I wanted.
I wasn’t successful with getting traction with any of the side hustles. I hopped from working on one to another constantly hoping the next one would be a success. In the end, all I have to show for my various projects are a few hundred dollars I made and hundreds of hours I lost working on them.
Afterwards, I reflected on why I wasn’t successful in finding a side hustle that worked. The answer was very clear and simple — I didn’t care at all about the things I was working on. It may come as a surprise, but apparently driving around drunk people and delivering food via Uber doesn’t spark much joy.
I started to question why I was even working on these things. I was already getting paid well from my regular 9-to-5, so I didn’t need the extra income. It became obvious that I was only doing this because I felt guilty that I wasn’t doing enough. That simply wasn’t a good enough reason to continue on this path.
One of the biggest changes that I made in my late 20s was getting rid of all my social media accounts. An unexpected byproduct of this was that I no longer felt guilty for not constantly being productive. Because I could no longer see what other people were doing, I was able to focus on my own life instead.
Once I lost this visibility into other people’s lives, I lost the ability to compare whether I had more or less. I could purely assess my own life to determine whether I had enough to live the life I wanted to live. The answer to this was obvious.
I had a job that paid me well. I had more than enough material possessions — like clothes, a car, and a bed to sleep on. I had good health that allowed me to work on my various hobbies. I had great family, friends, and a cat that I enjoyed spending time with. What more could I possibly ask for?
It’s true that maybe I got lucky to be in the situation that I am in. There are definitely a lot of people in this world that have to overcome more unfortunate situations. But I know people with far more than me who are miserable, and people with far less who are genuinely happy.
I believe whether we are miserable or happy comes down to perspective — our mindset of how we view and measure our own lives. This may sound cliche, but it’s true. A change in our mindset to appreciate more of what we have brings a lot more positive change than one might expect.
As I was coming to this realization, I found myself in an opportunity to reach for more. This was when my wife and I were looking to buy our first home. Everyone around us, including friends, siblings, and acquaintances, were at the point in their lives where they could afford their first home purchase. Constantly seeing people make this significant purchase on social media made us want to do the same.
We started assessing our finances to see if this was feasible, but it became quickly evident that it wasn’t in our best financial interest to buy a home. We were really sad about this conclusion and agonized over it for a few months. We opted to rent an apartment for a few years and revisit the conversation when we were in a better financial position.
At the end of our 2 year apartment lease, we started discussing buying a home again, but this time the conversation went drastically differently. At this point, we were both off social media and reached a point where we were content with our apartment and lifestyle. We no longer felt the need to buy a home. So we had one conversation about it and chose not to buy a home.
If this conversation happened a few years prior, I probably would have looked for a way to make more money. I wouldn’t have been content with renting an apartment when everyone else around me owned a home. But now I realize that owning a home is a luxury and that renting an apartment is more than enough to live the life I want to live.
Renting has provided us with an opportunity to be flexible with where we live. We have been able to save money in a high-interest economic environment. We have also been able to enjoy the various amenities that an apartment has to offer. This was all thanks to a change in perspective that what we had was simply enough.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to strive for more. This desire is what has allowed humans to innovate and advance in a way that was once unimaginable. But in this chase for more, we have lost sight of our ability to identify the line of enough. We have started to constantly think about what comes next instead of focusing on what is right in front of us.
I hope that we can refocus our gaze from the horizon and onto the foreground. If we are unable to do so, it’s safe to say that we will continue to lose a fragment of ourselves for each thing we obtain beyond the line of enough.
So where are you right now in relation to enough? Are you looking out to the horizon or have you come to peace with what’s right in front of you?
Welcome to The Intentional Café.
